Once Again, I Eat Meat

Man, the black and white makes this roasted chicken much less appealing than it was in color, but I have an aesthetic to stick to.

The truth of the matter is that after over two years of going cold turkey on turkey, I am no longer a vegetarian. Though I had been thinking about returning to the dark side for a while, I made the official announcement one night at the dinner table. My mom had prepared her Ugly Meatballs™ for the rest of the family, but I was sitting at the head, drinking a protein shake because of my jaw surgery. To all of them, my declaration was comical, potentially inspired by observing the difference in substance between our two meals. But as I said, I had been thinking on it for months by that point. They just happened to witness my moment of rapture.

I decided to become a vegetarian mainly for environmental reasons, so upon my decision to eat meat again, I had to weigh the cost of this on my environmentally conscious, uh, conscience. While the truth is that one person can make a difference with their choices, I was sad to admit that I was letting Mother Earth down with my renewed desire for chicken. But in the end, it had to be done, for me. Screw Mother Earth, am I right? Just kidding. A few days after my announcement at the dinner table, I mushed up (jaw surgery) an Ugly Meatball™, and the seal was broken.

Disclaimer: Red meat is still out of the question. I haven’t eaten red meat for almost ten years now, and I like to think this decision is still helping, as emissions from cows are a huge, huge problem for our environment. Cow farts = bad.

So the big question is: why? Why, after two years of perfectly fine health as a vegetarian, did I hop off the tofu bandwagon? Firstly and most importantly, I missed my mom’s cooking too much. It was hard to go home and watch my family eat her delicious food while I had to “figure something out.” Or even worse, it was hard to see her worried about what to make in order to please everyone, myself included. We had tortellini primavera almost every time I returned home. Sorry, not sorry.

It was also difficult to be a vegetarian and enjoy eating out (at least in my experience). Even in New York City, the world’s melting pot, many restaurants only have one vegetarian entree, robbing me of the painful pleasures of the paradox of choice. It’s no fun to sit down, look at a menu, and go, “Oh, I guess I’ll be getting that.”

Now, don’t think I’ll be roasting up a chicken every night. My plan is to remain mainly a vegetarian in my apartment, but to fuhgeddaboudit when it comes to visiting my parents and going out to eat. I’m not completely jumping off the tofu bandwagon, because tofu is great. All hail tofu.

This decision is not an admission of defeat or failure. I realized there was something missing from my life, so I found it again. I am not upset that I “couldn’t maintain it” or whatever people might think. If I really wanted to remain a vegetarian, I could. Easily. I am sure that one day, be it three weeks or three decades from now, I will try it again. But for now, I will try to be green in other ways, like not shopping fast fashion, taking public transportation, and signing up for e-statements on all my damn bills. I will replace vegetarianism with other decisions that lower my carbon footprint, and I won’t be forced to order the veggie burger every time I go out to eat. It’s a trade off.

Though with Ugly Meatballs™ back on the menu, I feel like I won out.