Sister, Sister

I’m really enjoying this cute image of two random girls I found in the Squarespace free image library. I wonder if these two have grown up and find it bizarre that strangers like myself can use their image however we like. But I digress.

I should also be clear that I am one of three sisters. Sorry Katie, this is not about you. Let’s pretend a third cute stranger baby is trailing behind the other two in this picture. That can be you, Katie. You didn’t quite make the cut, but doesn’t mean you aren’t there.

The sister who is suggested by this image of strangers, Julia, moved into the City about a month ago. And I know it’s been about a month, because she was just lamenting about watching her first rent payment fly out of her bank account. I texted back “now you’re a real New Yorker,” because you don’t live here if you don’t worry about whether you can afford to actually keep yourself fed. Exhibit A, a text from Julia after paying rent for the first time: “I need to go grocery shopping today but it pains me to spend more.” Don’t worry, we collectively convinced her that she needs food.

Here’s the kicker: she moved in just two blocks south of me. A three minute walk, one minute jog. When I baked cookies for my soccer team, she and her roommate stopped by to grab a few while they were still hot. Perks. She called me a couple of weeks ago, asking if I was home, because she was standing outside my building and just wanted to say hi.

We’ve lived closer, of course. As in, we slept in twin beds in the same room for many years. But it’s nice knowing that, even though we’ve both moved away from home, we’ve founded home again in Kips Bay, NYC. We’ve gone out to dinner, spent a day lying in Madison Square Park, and almost went to the movies (there were no good seats left). It’s not much, but there’s certainly more of a possibility for a sister-sister relationship here in NYC than there was when either of us was at college.

For this past month, my parents have been empty nesters once again. Katie comes home from college this weekend, to refill the nest a bit, but it won’t last forever. I am sure they are happy that Julia and I have ended up in the same neighborhood, and one that is a quick drive from home in the suburbs. In a couple of years, Katie will be living in NYC for a semester, and then we’ll all be back together again, but most families don’t get this.

It’s a scary idea, growing up. This is a theme that comes up a lot for me. But I think one of the scariest things about it is this distance. Distance, quite literally, separates us. We continue to grow up, develop our individual lives, but we do so without being tethered to our parents. Tethers can have a negative connotation, such as holding you back, but they can also be the reason you don’t fall flat on your face.

Julia and I are lucky that despite our leaving the nest, we’re only a short drive away. We can travel home together and sleep in our childhood beds whenever we want. Our parents can come here and take us out to dinner whenever they want. But one day, this might not be possible. It may not be possible in the moments when we need each other most of all. But for right now, I am taking comfort in this proximity.

Knowing that I live so near, Julia called on me the other day to put together a tension rod shower caddy that they were having trouble wrangling. Another time, she called me in a panic, while I was in the middle of a soccer game, to tell me about a roach. I am sure there will be moments that we annoy each other with these impromptu requests for the other’s presence, but for now, I am happy that she can call, tell me to come over, and I can oblige.

For many, living in NYC can be an alienating experience. So many people, so much commotion—where do we all fit in? But having my sister right down the block assures me that no matter what the City throws my way, I will always have somewhere to go, arms full of gummy candy from CVS, to watch a nature documentary or a Disney movie.